It's Diet Time Again

Pray for me.

Pray for me. I’m embarking on a diet again. Diets are like a near-death experience for me. After all, the first three letters of D-I-E-T are D-I-E! It seems like that what’s going to happen in the first few days of a new diet experience. 

You see, I’m almost twice the man I used to be when I was 160 pounds as a high school senior. 

In the fall of 1967 I went off to college and had a nice room in a brand new dormitory which offered a buffet breakfast, lunch and dinner.

In high school I played sports, worked two and three jobs at a time and had to make or pay for my meals. My mother had been incapacitated by a stroke when I was a freshman in high school. Therefor, weight was not an issue. 

So at college, with three abundant regular meals a day, and just the walking to and from class for exercise, I exploded to over 200 pounds in no time.

The next time I was on a scale that read under 200 pounds was in 1993. I went on a low fat diet and lost 52 pounds in about six months to dip below 200 pounds for the first time in 25 years. 

Wow! Did that feel good?

Then I started jobs with a much higher stress level and many opportunities for fine lunches and dinners and soon, I had recaptured all of the lost fat!

With my success at losing 52 pounds, I thought it would be a snap to do it again. 

In the meantime, my addiction to sweets had become legendary. And I have become much more sedentary due to heart issues and a lack of stamina. If I loose weight now, it will require a huge reduction of sugar and caloric intake. 

A diet soda and a box of donuts is not an effective diet. In fact no diet, low fat, low carb, 1,500 calories a day, nor any other diet known to man has been effective and sustainable for me in recent years. 

But I’m trying again with a reasonable goal of losing 20 pounds to start with. No, that will not get me under 200 again, but it might take me down a pants size and back to 2X shirts fitting comfortably. If I accomplish that, maybe I can do even more.

I suspect few people in the world have consumed more sugar in their lifetime than me. Colas, donuts, cookies, pies, cakes, ice cream, candy bars, sweet tea, sugared cereal, cotton candy, elephant ears, you name it, it has been for me. 

I’m under court order to notify the Little Debbie bakery when I’m on a diet so they can make the necessary layoffs. I feel obligated to notify the Securities and Exchange Commission that my diet may affect the stock price of Coke and Pepsico. I’m now enjoying sparkling fruit drinks that have just five calories. 

I knew I had to slow down on my eating.

I’d started putting mayonnaise on aspirins. — Milton Berle

Before I could start on this diet, I had to run the balance on my Duncan Donuts card down to zero. Duncan may have to cut back their hours at stores near me. 

So, here I go on a new dietary adventure. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Pray for me.

Thanks for reading. Your comments and suggestions will make this post much more interesting.